HOW TO TELL IF A BEAR IS CRAZY OR JUST HUNGRY

When you are walking in the woods you may get et by a bear. But first you must learn to recognise the signs of crazyness. So you can rest in peace with the knowlege you have been eaten by a crazy bear, and not just a hungry bear.

Lots of people claim to have been eaten by a crazy bear but few have acheived this feat.Brad Pitt. for example, in legends of the fall, was merely eaten by a hungry bear. but who knows how many people have been devoured by bungle the rainbow bear, who was very crazy. Bungle was truly livin el oso loco.

THE BIG SECRET

If it is a truly hungry bear, it will just eat you, no questions asked. there is however, a certain subtle sign you can look for to judge the mental wellbeing of your bear: A quilt. Would you believe a bear carrying a quilt could be completely sane? I think not. The presence of other items of bedding and certain items of clothing (i.e a scarf) can also be used as indicators that you are dealing with a crazy bear. shrubberies and passports may also be used by el oso loco.

HOW MAY I DEFEAT THE CRAZY BEAR?

While Brad in legends of the fall was not dealing with a crazy bear, if he was, he would have done well to know that a good psychologist always comes in handy in a fight with an insane bear. because crazy bears are just misguided and if rehabilitated can make good family pets.

To defeat a crazy bear, simply remove its quilt and lead it gently to the nearest mental hospital where a chansey should be there to guide it back into bear society. The bear will not try to retaliate as its source  of power has been removed. However, do not let it have any bedding in its room, or it may relapse. While in a normal asylum, padded walls are the norm, for a crazy bear asylum, this is not a good idea as the padding may remind it of its lost quilt.

LITTLE KNOWN FACT: Winnie the pooh used to be known as winnie the pillowcase, due to his preffered item of crazy bedding. However, Dr. Christopher robin rehabilitated him...or did he??

FAMOUS EX-CRAZY BEARS

- Paddington

- Winnie The Pooh

- Bungle

CRAZY QUILT:

Sure to be a favourite among all crazy bears for its unique design. This quilt is the first known example of a crazy quilt with a bear.