STOP RIGHT THERE!!!!!!!!!!

Hello. I'm Raichu. And I am SICK TO DEATH of that insolent brat Pikachu! I'm much better looking than him, much more talented, and have a cuter name..........but do they care? NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! its all "pika, pika, pika!" and "Awww, look at the little Pikachu!". Well I tell you something. That Pikachu is just a corporate ho! Yes it is!!!! You think it's sweet, with its little beady black satanic eyes and its custard yellow mangy coat but NO! It just wants your money. Then it will run! Run for the hills! And it can only channel a few volts of electricity through its body. NOT ENOUGH TO POWER A KETTLE!!!!!!!! Whereas a pokemon of my superior abilities could keep the whole of DISNEYLAND lit up for a FORTNIGHT!!!!!!!! But you don't care, do you?? You just want some cute Pikachu eye-candy. Hah! Well, here it is. BUT YOU WILL BE SORRY WHEN THE RAICHU REVOLUTION COMES!

Sad? Us? With our reputation?